He made me forget how I hated myself. We roamed the city dancing on mountains and drinking whiskey, crying and laughing and loving. My body was bursting. I was ripe and in love for the first time. We would swim together and make the truest clearest love. And yet we were also ashamed. We had committed the ultimate betrayal. The connectivity within our souls deepest hollows were too true to disregard so we remained.
The year wore on and our relationship bloomed in the wrong places. Mistrust always arose. I suppose it was the foundation of our love. it was hard to ever trust one another. We snapped ties, but only a month later we found ourselves back together. Tentatively, we stretched out to feel each other. I still loved him, and he me, but it was straining and the thread tying us together was wearing and our hearts weren’t red anymore but a bruised purple. We argued and snapped but couldn’t break the thread. Suspicions were so high, I discovered he was unfaithful but I couldn’t let it be real. wasn’t I enough? had I been outdated was I now an old doll at the bottom of his chest? I turned bitter pushing him away somedays and grasping desperately for him the next. He turned to more women. Though one day I stopped trying or pretending. I let it all go.